I just have to take a moment to remind myself that when things seem impossible, you have to give the kids credit...they are smarter and more adaptable than you think. A week ago at this moment we began sleep training and we were already 40 minutes into the Little Dude crying it out and had about 10-15 minutes more to go. Each night got easier and he was actually sleeping through the night. Tonight I sit here better rested than I've been since before the end of June when they arrived. He also went down without a peep tonight. I sang him Blackbird and then laid him down in his crib awake, said good night and I was out. Two weeks ago I only dream of being here at some point.
They have proven time and time again they can flex and will fight change but bend quickly in the direction we're moving. It's harder on us as parents than for them. They are both amazingly resilient.
We are still on track with the legal plan of moving another step towards adoption in December. Even if everything stays on schedule and works perfectly we would not be able to finalize adoption until March at the earliest. I'm not betting on things working perfectly. Social Workers are busy, papers can get lost, people can make last ditch efforts. We just won't know how it's going to go until we're there but have been warned this is the most frustrating phase. We'll continue praying for patience and hope.
The kids have had a chance to visit with their Birth Mom the last several weeks which has been a change. We are glad they have had time with her. I also had the rare opportunity last week to spend 10-15 minutes alone with her. It gave us time to talk and I stressed the importance of her being in their lives to us and that we will do anything we can to support those visits. Both now and the rest of their lives if we're blessed to have them stay with us. I was also able to learn some background about her life that I'll be able to share with the kids if we loose contact with her. It's very important for Jay and I to have a relationship of mutual trust and respect with her.
I've never before felt so much like a missionary for ourselves. I have very brief interactions with her and each moment is treated like it could be the last. Each word is carefully chosen to both share all we can about us and protect us at the same time. Our deepest hope would be for us to have an on going relationship with her and for her to see at this moment we're able to better provide for the kids. This continues to be a roller coaster and challenges us to open our hearts in ways we never imagined. It's a ride we want to stay on.